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Original: 1/15/2007 7:15 PM
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Monday, January 15, 2007

Chapman Denies Minority Rights for Deceased People

 
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Today Alabama's new Secretary of State, Beth Chapman, made clear her views on the crucial issue of civil rights for deceased people. "As of today, January 15, 2007, let this message resonate across our state loudly and clearly: dead people are no longer allowed to vote in Alabama," she said in a speech to the Alabama Legislature.

I am disappointed in Ms. Chapman's explicit disrespect for such a marginalized group of people. It is darkly ironic that, on the day that Americans celebrate the life of one of the foremost figures of the American civil rights movement, Ms. Chapman should trample on the most precious of civil rights by denying the deceased their right to vote. I should have hoped that Ms. Chapman would recognize that it is not the corporeal nature of a being that makes him or her worthy of respect as a human, but the shared experience of the human condition. Those who have passed on, like other minority groups, clearly have much to offer to the rest of us, and we should respect their viewpoint as being just as valid as anyone else's--especially on election day. I hope each of you will join me in upholding the validity and dignity of deceased people in the area of civil rights. If you don't, well, I can't guarantee that you won't be visited by any spooky "protesters" around the stroke of midnight.

This post has been a work of satire. It is not intended to offend or criticize any ethnic or other minority group, but rather the mindset that sees every issue in terms of minority-majority conflict. If you experience frustration or offense at anything said in this post, please contact the author.

 Posted 1/15/2007 7:15 PM - 67 Views - 12 eProps - 6 comments

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Visit CalvinS84's Xanga Site!
I think dead people should have the right to vote. I am outraged by this.

Haha. That's great Ben!
Posted 1/16/2007 1:02 PM by CalvinS84 - reply

Visit xtremeguppie's Xanga Site!

What's in a name?? Wouldn't death by any other name still smell as sweet?? Isn't it true that death is just a different phase of life??

Ben, I someday hope to be as smart and funny as you are and I'm going to begin that journey with this statement: "I will never be found making fun of Ben's hairtwirling habits". (being an avid hair-twirler myself)

Posted 1/16/2007 6:31 PM by xtremeguppie - reply

Visit the_book_knapper's Xanga Site!
You sadden me, Ben. This post has frustrated and angered me. You should be ashamed of yourself...age-ist!
Posted 1/18/2007 8:05 PM by the_book_knapper - reply

Visit booklovinggirl's Xanga Site!

rofl! That was wonderfully refreshing--thanks!

You're an economics person? Do you get to take classes from the Von Mises people? If so, I am equally jealous. :)

. . . and Flatfoot 56 is just, well, amazing.

Posted 1/18/2007 8:42 PM by booklovinggirl - reply

Visit dwbarb's Xanga Site!
Debussy is awesome. I enjoy your satire; keep it coming.
Posted 1/18/2007 9:01 PM by dwbarb - reply

Visit iluvswa's Xanga Site!
How do we know whom the deceased would vote for?
Posted 1/18/2007 9:37 PM by iluvswa - reply


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